Sunday, June 30, 2013

Pain.

She was admitted in the hospital one more time, if things continue like this she was going to die even if no one meant to kill her. 

- What happened this time? Asked the doctor who used to attend her while she was on bed.
- Nothing. She said barely breathing.
- You got a heart attack one more time and I am sure it was not cause of excitement and joy. What has happened now?
- Nothing. She insisted with a better breathe now.
- Why are you hiding it again?
- I am not.
- Then everything is fine...
- It is.
- I guess you want to come back home since you're better now.
- I want.
- You'll die at this rhythm
- Probably this is one of the best ways in any case.
- Wh...what?
- Can I go now doctor?
- You can. He said with a deep pity in his eyes.
- Thanks and goodbye. She said with a sad smile. See you soon.
- Goodbye. He said admiring her strength.

She moved hardly and sit up by herself the best she can, the nurses weren't allow to try helping her since she used to refused to get any help; and left, walking in a strange way and holding her breast as if her heart was going to fall at any moment.


- Will she be okay? A nurse asked to the doctor.
- I hope so. He said and stated attending someone else.

And what no one saw was her tears while she was leaving. Actually she didn't want to come back nor she wanted to leave... she just didn't know what to do and how to live anymore.


Sunday, June 23, 2013

Let's go to the park.

The day was beautiful as usual in that zone, I was taking my kids to the park as every Wednesday afternoon and my husband was waiting for us to get ready in the car, he used to help me to get the boys ready, Isa with nine years old and Yasin with three years old, and get in the car; still preparing Hanan our six years old daughter, to go out was almost a real challenge due to her father preferences and mines when it comes to dress her.
Yasin and Isa were already in the car with their dad, once I got Hanan ready I walked with her til the door realizing about how fast Mounira was growing up and stopped for a minute when I felt a little kick in my belly, it was a fact, she wasn't going to be a football player as Yasin, I used to believe my belly was a ball and not a part of my body when I was pregnant of him. 
A huge light got me blind for few seconds when I was close to the car I got dizzy for an instant, Hanan smiled and I noticed her dad took a photo of us as usual, I just didn't know how he still get to catch me when I was not looking. 
- Let's go baby. He said grining. 
- Let's go. I said smiling. Actually I used to get mad when he took pictures like that but after having three kids and spending twelve years by his side I was already used to those pictures as well. 
- Mommy mommy you look very cute today. Said Yasin as soon as I got into the car.
- Shsh Yasin, you know nothing, mom looks cute always. Isa corrected him and we all laughed.
- Oh that's right! mom you look always cute. Said Yasin pleased with his own words.
- Thanks everybody. I said to my boys.
While everybody was praising me I noticed my little girl was looking down to her shoes.
- Hey honey, what's wrong? I asked worried.
- Mommy you look so pretty. She said looking at my face with those big diamonds that God let her as eyes.
- Thanks sweet heart. I answered smiling to her but she was still down.
- What happen my love? 
- Mom... you always take long dressing me and you're always saying I look pretty but Isa and Yasin never do... She said so doubting of my words.
- Oh really? I said so and hold her for the arms and put her up til she reached the top of the car, she just opened more and more her eyes and smile cause she used to love that game when she was smaller. 
- Mom! She said screaming with joy. 
- Boys, here is your sister today, doesn't she look cute as well? I asked.
- Of course she does. Said Yasin.
- We all know Hano looks great, you always say it, doesn't she know? Said Isa.
- Apparently she wasn't sure. I said looking at my girl with complicity.
- Hano just look at yourself in a mirror. Said Isa in a funny way. Her brothers made her blush and I was just happy to see her so excited.
- Prins. Said my husband while driving.
- Yes daddy? She said shyly and looking at him now.
- You look gorgeous. He said with a half smile and wink. She hided her face into my neck hugging me fastly. And he and I laughed hard.
- By the way baby, you're looking more handsome than usual today. And my babies boys are looking perfectly, there's no other way since they are adorable always. I said and looked down finding my little men looking at me with opened eyes, smiling a lot and pleased with my words. 
- Thanks babe. Said their father.
- Thanks mom! Thanks mommy! Said my boys.
We reached the park and my husband tried to take his kids with him but while Hano ran to him, little Yasin came to me and Isa tried walking alone in first place but since he saw one of my hands with nothing he just walked towards me and held it.

I couldn't ask for more, I was just so thankful with God and my wonderful family.