Sunday, July 3, 2022

On children’s generosity

Photography by Madelaine Bustamante

Some days ago I was sitting down in a green space and this little girl came to me and placed these flowers in my hand. That’s it... she didn’t say anything, she didn’t look back, she didn’t ask them back either, she just put them in my hand and left. She couldn’t be more than 4 years old.

I am sure she was just being her usual self, being a kind soul, but for me, that gesture was so big that it made my day. This is something that happens regularly when I am working with children and that’s why I enjoy working with children so much.

Children surprise me on a daily basis, most of the time in good ways. Children remind me that it is worth it to keep trying and thinking about others’ rights because they deserve a nice place to grow in. Children give me hope about humans aren’t as bad as the news shows them. Children push me to be a better version of myself as a professional, but also as a human being; and like this, they help me to grow, and they show me the beauty of life and God through them.

I wish that every single child in the world will always have someone to protect them, appreciate them, and love them, but as I know this is not what happens in reality I will advocate for them, I will try my best with them, and I will pray for them always. I hope whenever you raise a prayer you will do it too.

“No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy, the kindness, and generosity hidden in the soul of a child.” (Emma Goldman) 

Monday, May 9, 2022

Not from here, from there

I am not a fighter. In fact, from the beginning, I have been a quitter, always ready to throw in the towel. Never ready for the battle, always scared, always running away. Many times I admit defeat even before even trying, I am too frightened to even try.

I have given up on life from the very first day, always waiting for the worst to come, smiling at all times though... always smiling. People say I have a beautiful smile, I wonder if it has anything to do with having a sad soul. See, people many times seem to misunderstand what a sad soul involves, what sadness involves, I believe sadness is not just sadness, it is dept, it is immensity, sadness is its own form of joy, and I live it like that, therefore maybe that's what people grasp when they see me smiling.

Still, I feel like a spoiled brat crying at all times for the sake of crying, just for life to come all giving to offer a bunch of gifts to encourage me to go on, and I, in spite of all these offerings, go on with my tantrums. My tantrums of a spoiled brat because I keep on thinking I want to leave, I continue feeling I want to leave. I don't like parties, and I, certainly, didn't want to come to this one. But here I am, remaining in this state of time, while the host showers me with attention and presents from which I, most of the time, feel undeserving.

I want to call home and ask to be picked up, but I lost the phone number and I am stuck in this place full of noise, people, smells, life... I am on an infinite quest for my way back home. I am researching in a thousand books, religions, minds, and hearts, for those answers that would, finally, lead me back to the center. That would bring me back to the Absolute I came from.

I wasn't created here, in fact, I was born there. This is nothing but a cheap copy of myself. My real home is broader, complete, whole... and I yearn for it.
00:10
MiL

Friday, April 29, 2022

The Fall

 

Photography by Madelaine Bustamante

Today I tried breathing again but it was pointless as I noticed all the air had gone away. I looked at everybody around me in despair, it couldn't be possible that everybody was acting so calmly while lacking oxygen.

Big was my surprise when I noticed a sort of respiratory machine around their heads, it seems I missed the announcement about wearing them. It wouldn't be my first time missing it. What should I do now? I was holding my breath as people do underwater, I had nothing but a few minutes, but my despair continuously increasing would tell me that I have nothing but counted seconds, making it unbearable.

I thought about the people I could ask for help... Asking for help. I have been working on asking for help for the last couple of years, and I could reach out my agonizing hand to someone for help. But who? Also? What should I say? How can I explain myself if I can not talk? I believe I will lose my ability to think soon enough as well. Oh God, I am starting to feel dizzy.

I started looking around me more carefully, to find a familiar face, or even a friendly one. Everybody seemed so busy, I didn't have the courage to disturb anyone's day; I wouldn't like anyone interrupting mine, especially in such a brusque way, asking for air, desperately. No, I needed to find a familiar face as soon as possible. Somehow moving started becoming heavy and difficult.

A known face! I tried to run to it if what I did can be considered running because even if in that very moment it felt like that, in my memories it is played as a pathetic attempt of moving. He couldn't see me, couldn't hear me, couldn't feel me. The only known face around me was miles away from me. I started sobbing, I couldn't hold my breath any longer.

People continued moving around me, while I faded away, slowly, painfully, sadly. Oh, my dream of becoming invincible finally comes true. I wondered if it was the right time to let it come true. I would have hated anybody seeing me in such a state of fragility, therefore I guess it was okay. But then again, I didn't ask for help because I couldn't speak! My intentions were others. I wanted to say: “Help me!” “I can’t breathe,” “Where did you get that respiratory machine?”, “When was this change announced?”.

I felt how, while I faded away unhurriedly, my anxiety was growing visibly. I was wondering about my loved ones, about the people that would start looking for me at some point and wouldn't find me, I thought about the ones I cared the most about, and I hoped, from the bottom of my heart, that'd give me one last shot of strength to try one more time. But I was hopeless, my body wasn't responding anymore, even my brain seemed further and further away from me, I wondered if my heart was also decreasing the intensity of its beats.

Everything was useless at that moment. Everything was valueless. As my last drops of consciousness got ready to leave me, I did, once again, what I have learned would always be the only exit door that would lead me to the hallway of containment. I raised a prayer, not to get more time, or solutions, or salvation, nor anything that would involve more efforts. I just asked for a good ending; so that even when my life was pure chaos, my death would be peaceful.

Saturday, April 2, 2022

First Day of Ramadan

Photography was taken by Madelaine Bustamante


It is the first day of Ramadan and I am at ease. See, in my constant search for understanding many times, I forget to recharge my batteries. I forget that my heart and soul need to be fed more than knowledge. I forget that I have a strong need of God in my life. A need for God that isn’t minimized to a few reminders here and there, or to a bunch of studies, but in truth, to a real relationship, within my current capacity with God.

If I have to be completely honest, the past two years have been a big challenge for me regarding understanding many things in the spiritual realm, and I felt lost, confused, overwhelmed, and scared many times. But not once did I turn to the divinity without feeling protected, recovered, stronger, motivated, and recharged. Still, I have this terrible habit, just like most of us, to push away my spiritual needs and overload myself with teachings, books, and writings; and don’t get me wrong, I have learned a big deal and I am nothing but grateful. But, only God knows how much I missed this feeling, this inner peace, this calmness. This sensation of being able to breathe in this air seems so asphyxiating sometimes.

Many times I wonder how we make it. I wonder about the reality of my fortitude because I always find myself so weak. I can’t face things on my own, because I find myself so small, I find everything huge! And it is just when I turn to Allah and I am able to see my own power through Him that I feel I can do it. I can do it because I am part of Him, I can do it because there are still thousands of worlds and mysteries for me to discover; and if my frailty, accompanied by cowardice doesn’t allow me to go on, my curiosity and my deepest feelings that I can’t even name will always do the job.

I was not born imperfect. I was born the exact way I was supposed to be born, and it is up to me to navigate this life and find in this sphere and others the many gifts God has put along the way for me. Just as He has done for all of us. I hope you are all suffering and enjoying life as much as I am. I hope we are all alive enough, to revive to the death call every single day.

Thursday, March 17, 2022

Hijos míos

Cada cierto tiempo descubro que no tengo hijos. Y lo digo así porque la mayor parte del tiempo paso adormecida, ausente, muchas veces desconectad. Ajena a todos, ajena a todo. Me alejo de esta realidad donde no me casé, donde mis hijos nunca llegaron, donde nunca los vi crecer, donde estoy solo yo. Mis libros y yo, es una imagen tan triste que casi me saca una lágrima.

Pero mi entumecimiento me mantiene controlada, me mantiene anestesiada. Estoy atada a una camilla de hospital, que es este mundo, y me mantengo con vida gracias al suero, que es la obtención de entendimiento, y gracias a mi respirador artificial, que es la divinidad. Estoy completa. Estoy completa. Solo me quitaron el vientre, no es gran cosa. Entonces ¿por qué sigo internada? ¿Por qué duele pese a toda esa anestesia? Los niños que cuido deben ser mis paseos al jardín, ficticias dada de alta donde me siento la madre que nunca fui. La madre que nunca fui, ni seré, porque me caen encima los años, y esos mis soñados, anhelados, amados bebés, se alejan más y más y su suave “mamá” se va transformando en un eco, cada vez más lejos, más bajo, y menos mío.

Mis hijos se desdibujan, desaparecen, se pierden... y yo los dejo ir. Porque siento que les he fallado, que me ha tomado demasiado tiempo, que he desgastado demasiado mis fuerzas, y no tengo nada que ofrecerles.

Hijos míos, su madre venció a la depresión. Ya no llorará y llorará para pesar suyo.

Hijos míos, su madre consiguió otro título, está más cerca del más alto.

Hijos míos, su madre encontró secretos, ya no está fijada en la superficie del circumpunto.

Hijos míos, su madre ya puede cuidarlos.

Hijos míos...

¿Hijos míos?

Mis hijos, señores, ¿dónde están mis hijos? ¿Alguien los ha visto? ¿Los han escuchado? Mis hijos que aun no llegan a este plano,

mis hijos que aun no se forman en mi vientre,

mis hijos que aun no ven con sus ojos perplejos este mundo.

Mis hijos, mis hijos amados.

Hijos míos, no sé que tan sabio de mi parte sería traerlos a este infierno.

¿Qué tan egoísta de mi parte sería darlos a luz solo para poder verlos?

Hijos míos, su madre aun no ha aprendido a lidiar con los dolores de este mundo.

Duerman entonces, duerman hasta que ella encuentre la manera de reencontrarlo, porque ni esta vida, ni ninguna otra me ha permitido olvidarlos. Los llevo aquí, en mi pecho, en mi inconsciente, que está consciente de que los tengo. Y de qué me tienen. Me tienen y siempre me tuvieron. Soy aquella que nunca dejo de buscarlos.






MiL

Tuesday, March 1, 2022

En el campo de batalla

Hicimos las maletas y nos fuimos de viaje. Al principio, estaba muy emocionada con todo lo que estaba pasando, después de todo, uno no se muda a un nuevo país todos los días. Me sentía protegida y segura, como siempre, cuando estoy con mis papás. Mis papás que aun no sabiendo una gota de inglés, ni teniendo idea de la geografía de Boston, ni de cómo funciona el transporte público, ni nada; me trajeron a Estados Unidos, me buscaron un apartamento, me llevaron a la Universidad, y me enseñaron cómo usar la metrovía. Cuando mis papás se fueron, algo dentro de mí se quebró; sentía que se iba con ellos gran parte de mí, parte por la que me dedicaría a llorar los años siguientes.

Pensé que ya sabía lo que era vivir “por cuenta propia”, que haber vivido cinco años a tres horas de mi ciudad bastarían como entrenamiento. No tome en consideración que por cinco años enteros regresé a mi ciudad cada fin de semana, lleve a lavar la ropa a mi casa siempre, pase todos los Domingos en familia, y que nunca me faltó comida ni dinero. En Ecuador, estuve siempre bajo el resguardo de mis padres: resguardo físico, económico, emocional, psicológico, y espiritual. No sabía lo que era vivir sola en realidad, y todo lo que mi razonamiento infantil había considerado como independencia hasta entonces, no había sido más que una ilusión.

Había entrado en el campo de batalla sin protección alguna, sin un verdadero entrenamiento, sin previo aviso, y sin nada con qué defenderme. No sabía qué hacer, pero ya no tenía un punto de retorno tampoco. Me recuerdo a mí misma, una tarde de Octubre del mismo año, escribiéndole a mi madre que quería volver a casa, que no quería estar más en este país; y estaba cansada, triste y me sentía sola. Mi mamá me dijo que tenía que aguantar un poco más, y que en Diciembre volvería a casa.

Pero ese volver a casa no duró, ni duraría nunca más, nada más que un par de semanas, luego volví a este país ajeno, lejano e impropio de mí. Impropio de mi cultura, de mi lengua, y de mi gente; estaba demasiado lejos de mis raíces, demasiado lejos de Sudamérica y no sabía bien cómo manejarlo. Sin embargo, ya mi madre me había dicho que tenía que quedarme, no me parecía tener más opciones.

Los primeros años mis papás pagaron los gastos de mi maestría, vivienda, comida, y cualquier gasto extra. El tercer año mi mamá dijo que considerando que ya tenía trabajo podía empezar a pagar mis propios gastos, y que ellos pagarían mis estudios hasta finalizarlos. Me parece curioso cómo tener los padres que tenía, nunca me causó gran admiración hasta que empecé a fijarme más en las historias de otros. Hoy por hoy, entiendo que mis papás dieron más de lo usual, y gracias a ellos goce de comodidades y facilidades que me dieron tranquilidad, pero también esquivaron mis oportunidades de crecer.

Aprendí a lavar la ropa por mí misma, si hacer uso de la lavadora y la secadora cuentan, aprendí a limpiar la casa, aprendí a cocinar, aprendí a llevar mis cuentas, aprendí a ir a las instituciones pertinentes para sacar mi documento de identidad y mi licencia. Aprendí a pasar los fines de semana absolutamente sola, aprendí que el frío trae consigo más cosas que solo cambios de temperatura, aprendí a pasar necesidad en silencio, y así una lista infinita de cosas que nunca habría aprendido estando bajo el ala protectora de mis padres.

Mis padres protectores, amadores, consentidores, dulces, preocupados, esmerados. Mis padres a los que poco les faltó para ponerme la comida en la boca y cambiar mis ropas aun cuando ya tenía más de veinte años. Mis padres por los que estoy profundamente agradecida, pues entiendo que todo lo hicieron desde el amor y lo que ellos entendían.

Tengo cinco años viviendo en el norte del continente americano, me he acostumbrado, medianamente, a hacerme cargo de mí misma y ser una adulta, y creo que ahora cuento con herramientas que antes no contaba. Aun así, sigo sintiéndome en un campo de batalla, que ciertamente no es Estados Unidos en sí mismo sino la vida. Vuelvo una y otra vez a la delicada memoria de mí misma envuelta en los brazos de mi padre, o la mirada extremadamente conmovedora de mi madre cuando me ve alejarme.

Con el pasar de los años he adquirido un sentido de independencia que no creo haber tenido realmente antes, y me siento, medianamente, orgullosa de vivir sola. Supongo que he crecido; pero, la niña que llevo dentro, que en realidad vive a flor de piel, me sigue preguntando cuando regresaremos a casa, a mis padres, a mi tierra… yo no tengo respuesta alguna para ofrecerle. En este campo minado que es el mundo, apostar por el siguiente paso parece ser solo para valientes, y yo tengo muy poca práctica con ese tema.

Wednesday, February 9, 2022

My beautiful land

I came back from Ecuador eight days ago. I brought two bags, a big one, and a middle-sized one. I unpacked the smaller one right away, but I let the biggest one stay there lying on the floor as part of the decoration until today, I unpacked the big bag just now. 

I have been here for eight days only and I already miss my country so much. I wonder what is wrong with me though because even when I miss my country I don’t see myself going back to live there. Even when I am there, all I think about is living there.

Photography by Madelaine Bustamante

I visited my country after being three years away from it. If I have to be honest I was a bit worried when I took the plane back home because I was wondering how will my country receive me. I wonder if I would sense some distance, some coldness, some rejection towards me, against this citizen that abandoned her for so long. I wonder if the weather would harm me, or if the food would still be appealing, I wonder the people would be unkind, I wonder if my country would put up a tantrum like a spoiled child for having been left “alone” for so long. I was scared of feeling foreign in my own country as many people that go to live abroad do.

Photography by Madelaine Bustamante

My land instead was as warm and as welcoming as always. I felt the sky receiving with open arms, with his clouds, with its rain, with its sun. I feel the mountains greeting me after so long. I felt the food as tasty as always. I felt the people are as kind as usual. And I felt overwhelmed with the beauty of my country one more time. I felt at home because Ecuador will always be my home, even if I leave for one hundred years. I might get a double nationality one day, and grant my Ecuadorian citizenship a sister, but I could never leave my first nationality. I would never stop feeling proud of being Ecuadorian. There has never been anything that would make me want to have been born somewhere else, even with all my country’s corruption and poverty. I am just grateful for having been born there.

Photography by Madelaine Bustamante

I can almost swear the mountains were singing to me when I was on the roadway, and maybe not to me but to all of us, and the trees were happy, just like the flowers and the animals around. Or, at least, that is how it felt for me. I could almost feel myself mixing with nature, becoming one with my surroundings. I believe I could achieve that goal there, I could be one with everything if I were to stay a bit too long around those beautiful mountains. If I were to plant trees one day, I would like that to be in my country. I would like my voice to join those singing voices.

Photography by Madelaine Bustamante

I missed the beaches though. I grew up surrounded by beaches and rivers, but this time I didn’t have the time nor chance to visit a beach or a river, my time there was too short and I had very little time to look around; but, now I have no doubts about the water there will welcome me too. As huge and soft as my country is, its waters will embrace me and let me hang there in absolute peace. I yearn for that day.

Photography by Madelaine Bustamante


Saturday, February 5, 2022

Thoughts at ten, thirty six.

René Guenón (1973) “Insights into Islamic Esoterism and Taoism”

I am re-reading this and all I think is:

“Oh God! I must be in a really bad place because as aware as I am of spiritual poverty, I don't seem to be able to be conscious about it and detach from manifested things. I must not be doing the job! Oh Saturn, how hard will you hit me?”

I am lost again. I am back to stage one, and as if I never moved forward, because I run in circles, I keep on moving back where I started. I am not a teenager anymore, not supposed to be so distracted by existential questions while being too busy dealing with life, but here I am! Because my brain refuses to leave me alone.

I see myself going down that hole that takes me nowhere but to my own disaster. I can always go there for sure, but for the sake of what? It is a comfort zone certainly, but to what price do I stay there? I am turning twenty-nine years old this year and my reality is asking over and over again to be the adult I am expected to be by now. Then why am I still this crying baby complaining about the meaning of life? As if complaining about the meaning, or lack-of-meaning, would change anything. 

If I have to be honest with you all, I just want to sit down and cry, and cry, and cry until I am done crying; but, I have done so way too many times, and by now I fully comprehend that it won’t make a difference. I would just release, and then regain the strength to keep on going but... right now I need a little bit more than that.

Did I let darkness cover me? Was I ever in the light? I mean, it is truly hard to know and I feel I have no time to waste in trying to find that out, but hey! Here I am writing my thoughts about the matter, wasting time, of course.

I am tired. I guess we can summarize all my babbling to that. Or maybe I am minimizing my feelings and rationalizing everything, reducing it to nothing, when in reality, I am falling apart as usual. The good news, for those much younger than me reading this, is that it has gotten better throughout the years. As bad as it is, it is not as bad as it was when I was fifteen, or even twenty. It is much better... well, better is a big word. I’d be humble and say that it gets bearable, what about that? It gets, somehow, bearable, because you understand and take your decisions upon what you moderately know instead of the absolute unknown. Not that the unknown will become known, but it will have the decency to clarify some matters that at an earlier age refuses to share.

Friday, February 4, 2022

Dead

“Your daughter is dead.”




“Your daughter is dead. Your daughter is dead. Your daughter is dead.” My daughter is dead.

There had been many things happening the last couple of days, but they are all blurry in my mind. I can’t remember anything. I can’t distinguish anything in my ocean of thoughts and memories. All I know is that my daughter is dead. She passed away the day before yesterday. A Wednesday. I will never feel the same about Wednesdays now. Silly, as if it was “Wednesday” that took my daughter away from me. It was not.

My daughter is...

My daughter is...

My daughter was. My daughter was. Was? My daughter was 30 years old. Why was she? Why isn’t she? People her age should BE now, in the present. Not in the past. Why is my daughter a “was” and not an “is” today? It doesn’t make sense.

Why do people 30 years old pass away anyways? Cardiac arrest they said but what does that mean? What do they, actually, mean by that? What do you mean her heart stopped working? It can’t be possible. It just can’t. Also, if my daughter needed a different heart, doctors could’ve exchanged it with mine. I have lived more than enough, but my daughter just turned 30. She was supposed to live longer, or so I thought. So I thought.

My daughter had a crystal heart. I knew that, I knew it very well. She had the tiniest yet biggest heart, I found it out a July night when she asked me if she could sleep with the little dog we just adopted because he wouldn’t stop crying at night and he must have been scared. She slept with him until he stopped crying at night. I should have found ways to help her strengthen her heart, instead, I taught her to take good care of it and so my 30 years old daughter continued to have a 9 years old’s heart. Maybe that is why it stopped working. It must have gotten broken. This planet isn’t a place for such hearts.


Photography was taken by Madelaine Bustamante



Friday, January 21, 2022 at 8:30pm.