Monday, October 13, 2014

Save me...


- You're destroying me! She got to yell at him.
- Me? Destroying you? He looked at her with a crazy look, asking himself what in the world was wrong with her this time.
- Yes. You're killing me alive! She screamed again, filled with anger and sorrow.
- How can I kill a dead body? He said annoyed, done with all her nonsenses. And her tears started falling.
- Are you saying I'm already dead? She asked calmly and seriously.
- You've been killing yourself since forever! I have never wronged you. I have never done anything to hurt you, Samara! He said frustrated.
- Sure, it has always been me. It has always been me. I'm sorry for what I said. She recognized and it hurt her even deeper than believing it was him.
- But why are you so sad? What's so wrong now? Didn't we say we'll make it work? Why are you crying now? He asked worried and with a huge weight on his heart.
- Nothing. Nothing. She said drowning by herself in her confusion and all her pain coming from nowhere.
- I can't help you if you don't allow me. He said trying to calm himself down, trying to offer her a way out.
- I don't need to be helped. She said with a thread of voice.
- You need to! He said getting frustrated again.
- No, I don't. She said cleaning her tears out. It's you who wants me to, but I'm done. I quit trying. She said determined. And he felt how the peace of his soul broke down in a way that will never ever be restore. 
It was true that it was him, him since the very beginning trying to pull her out of that coming ending where she put herself due to her insanity. It was him trying to hold her dead soul and bringing it back to life. It was him, who risking his own sanity, may swim over and over again even without any strength over that sea of broken souls and she was just so far from the seashore and each time farther. And he was just as tired as her and even more. He clearly could do nothing else for her but she didn't seem to acknowledge or, in any case, she didn't seem to care. 
When he woke up from his thoughts she had already left the place, he tried following her but she was nowhere to be found. His head was running out of ideas about how to keep her alive, how to save her... Save her? Was he able to save her when he couldn't even help himself? He asked himself.
Then a memory popped up, three years back from then: 
- Liar. She said while smiling playfully.
- No, no, I mean it! I just read your hand. He said smiling and trying to convince her.
- That can't be. How can you know so in advance? She continued smiling curiously.
- I'm telling you, because I just read your hand. I've studied astrology. He said, followed by a little laugh.
- I can't believe it. She insisted. When? She was totally surprised by now.
- During those vacations when you went to your aunt's. He said serious now.
- Oh! Come on! I went there for like a month only! And we used to talk everyday and you never mentioned that and I pretty much remember all the things you used to do then and it has nothing to do with astrology. You didn't even use to believe in it! She said.
- I did since I watched the Hunchback of Notre Dame. He said laughing, making her laugh as well.
- Oh Anthony! You're so mean! She said laughing hard.
- I'm serious! Also, I believe since I met you. He said looking at her sweetly.
- After meeting me? She asked kind of flattered and really surprised cause of the turn around of the conversation.
- Haven't you said I save you? He asked.
- Somehow. She said with a little smile.
- Well, Venus helped me. He said bursting out of laugh cause he could not contain himself anymore cause of the full attention she was giving him over all that nonsense.
- Oh you, bad guy! She said while hitting him softly until he held her in a warm hug.
He could not remember that without crying, remember those good times of them where they could share laughs and hugs and good times for the single fact of being next to each other. This last one year was truly a chaos due to their jobs, they'll barely meet each other and somehow she seemed to appear more and more gloomy while he was more and more moody and that was bringing them to live a constant war between them both and it was breaking them.
Suddenly, after half an hour trying to figure out where she was, he thought about the lake; that lake they used to frequent when everything started and how she could've gone there.
- Samy, Samy are you here? He asked while moving the branch on his face and trying to get a bit of light with the moon, thinking about she couldn't be in a place so dark like that without being scared to dead unless she brought her mobile phone and she was always with it, he thought. Then he saw a kind of a bulge on the land and could not believe it. Samara is that you there down? He asked worried now and got closed to her.
- Save me... She muttered while crying and looking at the lake.
- Oh, honey. He said while holding her in his arms and trying to give her some warmness, she was completely cold and she seemed out of her mind for real. How? Just how? Tell me what to do it. He said filled with deep pain thinking about if he would've been a little bit more late he could've lost her, thinking about how fragile their existence were, thinking about he didn't really know what to do without her but sadly he didn't know what to do with her neither, he may love her madly but he didn't know at all how to save her.
She didn't say anything else and put herself around him as well and her chin over his shoulder, she gradually stopped crying and kissed his cheek softly. Right, he thought, that was the only tool he had to save her, the only thing he could always offer her, the only thing she'll always want: his love. He hugged her even more tigh while saying:
- Let's go home now, sweetheart. I think the prediction I made about your hand years ago is coming true by tomorrow, I've decided it. He said while feeling things were starting to fall in its place and she smiled, because no matter what kind of soul she has, he was there, loving her and reminding her how important she was and is for him and how she never was going to be alone. And the most relevant: He'll always find a way out to save her, no matter in which way she'll want to be saved, he'll find it out even without her telling him.



"Won't you save me? 'cause saving is what I need. I just wanna be by your side..." 

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