All by now.

It's been a whole month since you asked me to stop writing you, and soon it'll be three months since everything between us came to an end... I wonder how are you, I hope you're doing well... I hope you're eating well, I hope you're studying well, I hope you're sleeping well... I hope you're well, I pray to God you're doing well since there's nothing else I can do now.

I am not so bad after all, I mean you asked me to stop FOR YOU so I did it, I stopped for you. I hope you're healing properly and I hope you're forgetting useless things related to me as you should. 

I have so many things to tell you, seriously so many, there are so many things I have to thank you for and so many others I have to apologize for also. I know you probably won't understand this part but I miss my best friend, I told you, didn't I? You were also my best friend and I will like to share with you many things that are happening in my life at the moment, but at the same time, I wouldn't like it just cause I know you wouldn't like any of them... which is a pity.

You know, I feel horrible over all the things I did wrongly with you, but I am sorry the most because I hurt you and I don't know why I feel I did it so bad, maybe because of the last couple of things you said to me, putting so many blame on me, I am so sorry because I hurt you so much and that was the last thing I wanted to do, the very last thing. I can tell you deserve better and, sadly, I was not your kind of better and by that time I was so messed up I don't even know how you could bear with me for so long.

I need to thank you for so much that I don't know where to start, you helped me to understand myself a little bit better, you helped me to improve, you taught me so many things, you were so patient with me, you were there in my saddest moments, you did what you can to understand me, you made me grow up and, by the way, I sleep with lights off for real now. Thank you so much for everything, thank you very much.

I still don't know if I accept openly ending things up, some days I make it better than others though and that's a good starting I guess. I hope this process is easier and better to handle for you, as you know I am a disaster, especially in this thing about "forgetting" and "leaving", I have a serious problem doing those things, but I am trying... I am still working with my psychoanalyst so I guess she is helping a lot with it because, sometimes I just... well, you know me, sometimes I just can not. 

Well... at this point I guess I said more than what I wanted to say, I mean will you even read this? Are you checking on me? Just asking, chill out. By the way, can I read that book? I know we bought it to read it together but... for God's sake to who am I asking now? To the screen? Never mind, I guess I can, at least it's allowed. Anyways, that's all I have to say by now... Bye.